Hello all who care about my fat ass. I am still here though I'm not having much to say lately. I am busy that's for sure and this month is my birthday so I'm older and because my great lovely state makes all my car related crap due the month of your birthday all my money is gone too. Life is grand right? Oh well. I have been doing little bits and pieces at a time on my work toward becoming a cute, buff, little, peace loving hippie. I have been trying to have a better attitude first of all which has helped my stress level a little bit. I haven't been going nuts with my road rage lately, I didn't throw my computer across the room the other day when it started shutting down and dumping the memory. That's progress right? I'm still having negative thoughts though. For example, just the other day I watched Sara Silverman (I think that's her name) dog Paris Hilton out and I thought it was great! Viacom yanked the video from You Tube like the losers they are (oops there goes the negative me again) but oh well. I think it's great that Paris has to serve time cause I think it's about time that money doesn't buy you a way out of jail any more. Next we have to get that to work the same with men as it does with women and put people like those Enron fuckers in jail, after that we can start yanking politicians out of their seats and throw them in the can too. So much for the peace loving hippy routine huh? Oh well, at least I'm a little better maybe 5% but still that's better than the zero I used to be.

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Now What?

Ok. So I've taken the step of making a "fat ass" blog. I've done all sorts of journaling. I've taken the dive into the deep dark trenches of myself to figure out why what where blah blah blah the beginning of my fat. I've admitted that I look better in my mind than I do in a mirror. I've admitted that I'm addicted to fast food. I am a part of the fast food nation.
Now What?!? Where do I go from here? What in the hell is my purpose beyond a bit of blogging and journaling? I have to set some goals. What the hell are they? Ok here goes.
I know I want to be healthier. Not necessarily as it relates to fat. I want to have a good immune system. I don't want to get sick so often. I don't want to have allergies so bad every year, I don't want to get colds and flu's like I have been lately and in the last few years. What else?
I want to fit into all my clothes instead of just some of them. I have a huge stack of jeans that I don't fit. If I were to guess I'd say I'm about 10lbs out of them. I'm not sure of that though.
I have all sorts of other goals but they're long term so I won't mention them. What's the point really of focusing on a bunch of crap that is so far off that I'll likely lose site of it all and end the entire process. Let's just say that in the end of all this I hope to be a cute white girl with a pretty smile and dread locks that is peaceful and happy and so hot that even people who don't like cute little peaceful hippies with dreadlocks think I'm cute and want to talk to me. I want to have the image that I have of myself be reflected in the image of myself I see in the mirror. I want to just be better that's all - BETTER.

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