Sunday Update

Ok people. This is my life. I fight back and forth with myself over so many of my issues. I am trying so hard to work on myself in general. The Remediation of an Angry Fat Ass is not just about weight loss. First of all most of the time people who are significantly overweight also suffer from many other issues ranging from depression, to OCD to more and more. I am not different. I don't know for sure why I decided to not care about exercise or health but I did. The same reason I likely stopped caring if my house was clean or if I cooked for myself instead of eating out. Thing is I need to make changes and I am making changes but it is sooooo frustrating that they don't happen as immediately as I feel the need to make them. I am working on my anger issues and how I treat others because we all know I'm a bitch. I don't mind being a bitch because in many ways I feel this gets me at least the treatment I deserve if I'm not going to be given the respect I deserve. People know not to fuck with me. I like that. I don't have to worry about people trying to screw me over as much when I'm a bitch. People know that I'm recording their conversations and that I will use it against them via any means necessary. Those who have challenged me have ended up on the news in a negative light and worse. I don't have a problem doing every thing legal in the books to make sure that you pay for treating me and/or others negatively. So being a bitch is sure helpful in those situations. People challenge me, I remind them I'm a bitch, they think it doesn't mean anything, I show them proof via email links to some of the news stories I've been involved with, I quote laws to them off the top of my head, they threaten me, I mention to them that threats don't scare me - I grew up in rural Oklahoma, I learned to shoot a gun and fight at a young age and then practiced it in the military - I am smart enough to make copies of everything and make sure they can be found in multiple locations - I have documents and recordings that are left with others along with instructions to publish them if anything happens to me - my father is the type of guy who may very well "punish" anyone who would injure or kill me in any way. I am safe and if I am not then those who fuck with me will become unsafe. Life is good as a bitch so I am having a hard time relinquishing my anger for fear that the bitch in me will leave too. I remember the old peaceful me that was so sweet and loving and hopeful though. Where is she? I need her to come back if nothing else to protect my relationship. I have a hard time turning off the bitch when I get home. I am trying though. I hope it all works out. In the end I hope to be a hot looking, buff, somewhate skinny, long haired, dread locked, lesbian with a great job, great friends, and a great relationship. Ah - the journey ahead. I have promised myself I won't cut my hair until I have acheived this and so far my locks have reached the beginning of my ass. In the next 3 or 4 years I could be hanging myself by them while I sleep they are so long. Wish me luck people.... Wish me luck.

Remediation overweight depression changes frustrating respect recording news