One Wall Down

Ok everyone!! I figured it's time to check in with the world finally. A lot has happened in the last few months and I am all better for it. I am finally in a place where I feel like I'm on the right track spiritually. I have worked hard to get to this place and it has taken years to get here. I went through much of my life with many things happening to me that were bad and somehow through it all I had managed to stay positive and hold onto hope. At some point I came to realize that much of the bad that happened to me had been brought on by my own doing. My insecurities had gotten the best of me and made me overcompensate in areas where I could stand out. This caused a lot of problems in my life for various reasons. One day I got in a relationship with someone who I was sure was the perfect one for me and who I was convinced I would be with forever and ever. Every little girl's dream is to find that special someone and be with them forever. In the end I found that this person had no respect for others beyond the surface. She actually only had respect for others because it was the right thing to do. She didn't have respect for me or for my things. If I had something that I had earned however small it was somehow she would manage to damage it. In the end when we broke up I found myself paying full price for things that she had ruined. So the keyword in all of that was END. After that my life became a big anger filled experience. I was now moving through the world jaded and acting as if all people were worthless and not to be trusted. This of course made me controlling and hard to deal with. People could see the good heart that I had but it was virtually unreachable. I have struggled for a good 10 years with my anger issues, my self confidence etc. etc. and in the end I became fatter, and fatter, and angrier and angrier and less and less self confident. Something happened in the last few months that broke me free. I don't exactly know what it was but a few different happenings popped up and all of a sudden it was as if all the work I had done within myself just took. I am now on a new road to greatness!! I feel like step one has been accomplished. I am finally in a place spiritually that I wanted to be in. I just have to keep that up and get to the next level of that category. So since I feel like that is finally on its way, I will have to begin working on something else. I am going to have to change my diet and my lifestyle as it relates to food. I have joined a gym and I don't go as often as I should but I'm going more than I used to. I feel like I am on the right track as far as the gym goes but that my next hard job needs to be on my food. So everyone wish me luck and if you see me eating something I said I wasn't gonna eat and it isn't the weekend then spank me.

check in spank finally eating spiritually food life gym